I got the deed. I paid
$15 to park. David will die when he finds out. He would of parked 5 miles away
to save 99 cents. Since it's CMA 2010, parking lots feel it's ok to steal your
money. Anyway, I have the stupid "certified" piece of paper. May life
move on.
I went to physical
therapy at the Dayani Center this morning. I actually looked forward to some
pain, so that I could reap from the rewards of taking a shower afterwards. It
felt a little odd like I was doing something wrong. I felt homeless. Oh wait, I
am homeless.
I went to the store.
Shopping for things is a confusing task. I walk around like a zombie. It takes
me 3 hours to decide what kind of broom I want. Simple tasks seem enormous. I'm
not sure why. May be because way down inside, I feel it will float away again.
That it doesn't matter. That everything is temporary. I feel temporary. I've
been violently plucked out of the earth. I have no roots. So,
"things" make my vision go blurry, and a bit sick to my stomach. It
makes me sad. I don't want to start over. I just want to open the door and plop
on my sofa. I took simple comforts of life for granted.
Our neighbor's daughter
was in her driveway yesterday. Her home is destroyed. She was sitting in her
car at 7:00am with her music turned on full blast. I didn't know who it was at
first and walked over to check it out. She saw me and apologized. She said she
didn't know anyone lived at my house. "Yes, I'm living in the backyard in
a trailer."
She told me that she was
born in that house. That she can't sleep at night. That it's the only home
she's ever had and that it holds a lot of memories. She said that she comes
every morning and sits in the driveway before she goes to work. She also felt
the change so many of us feel - that things don't matter.
Before the flood, I
didn't see eye to eye with some of my neighbors. That feeling was gone
yesterday when we talked with each other. We are in the same boat. We are the
same. It really makes me look at life differently. I see the homeless with
clearer eyes and a lighter heart. We are the same. We all are the same no
matter where we are. We are fragile.
I remember watching a
team of Bhuddists making a sand painting at Green Hills Mall years ago. It was
beautiful. It takes them an enormous amount of time to do these intricate
designs. When it was done, they destroyed it. You move on, and even if you
don't want to move on, it will. Letting go off attachments. Not an easy thing
to do.
Whine, Wine & Wash
at Lana's was so much fun. Whining with wine is fabulous. It was a let it all
out sister kind of time. David and I went out to dinner with Aunt Elizabeth,
her daughter Kendall, her husband Gregg, and their two sweet boys Jack &
Owen. I told her about Whine, Wine & Wash. She started "whining"
that she wanted to be part of this new ritual. Since she was half whining, she
will be my next place to go do my dirty laundry :-). Their 2 kids made me cry.
Their smallest boy, Owen, presented us with his very first soccer trophy. He
whispered to us that he wanted us to have something shiny because we had lost
everything. So sweet.
I have to get ready for
tonight. It's our friend Leigh's birthday. Going to a Mexican restaurant -
Mamacita's. Being confined to a metal box on wheels makes you become super
social. I have not cooked in a long time. A very unusual scenerio for me. My
sister said that instead of the Julia & Julia cooking challenge, that I
should have a 1 year challenge of cooking with an electric skillet.....oh
me....sigh. Then again, may be not a bad idea. Skillet souffle anyone?
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