What was I thinking? I'm
in a Vanderbilt sleep study. I will be hooked up with lots of
wires. They will take samples of my blood every 2 hours for 24 hours.
I'm helping the world of snorers. It felt good at the time. Now that
the appointment is here, my mind is looking for excuses.
I was surprised when I
was asked to be part of this study because I snore. That should tell you
that I can sound like the Chattanooga ChooChoo. Not pretty. I made light
of my situation until I was told that I have 100 disturbances per
hour which can deprive air to the brain. That would explain many things David
says. Isn't he sweet.
Snoring is not exactly
flattering. The choices to help sleep apnea are disturbing. Ugly.
One is a contraption that looks like my plane is about to crash and my
mask pops out. I look and sound like Darth Vader. I could
opt for device number 2. A lovely item that makes my
lower jaw protrude outward. May be nice if you live with a
Kayapo man who wears a disc in his lower lip. This does not
make me feel sexy. Here's my lovely Ralph Lauren sleep gown with
a plastic head chapeau with tubes. Fantastic. I can
also get surgery to enlarge my throat. What? Does that sound safe to you. I
guess I could shove more food into it. Always a rainbow in every situation.
Good times
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