Being a teenager wasn't easy. I was an awkward skinny bird with trainer bra boobs and of course my notorious big nose. My honker remains, but the skinny part channelled itself into another body. I was naive and insecure. What a perfect time for me to find a job. I applied everywhere.
One afternoon, my parents said that a Monsieur Sturgeon called me for a job interview. His name didn't ring a bell, but I was ecstatic. . My parents gave me the address to see him the following day.
This was my first interview and my nerves were raw. I tossed and turned all night.
In the morning I fussed with an outfit that would make me look good for the part. I hopped on a bus to this mysterious place. My heart was racing and my hands were sweating. I rehearsed over and over how I would walk in and what I would say. I would look straight into Mr. Sturgeon's eyes. I would lightly shake his hand, smile, and say "Good morning Mr. Sturgeon, my name is Diane and I.....
I pulled on the string for the bus to stop. I pulled myself together and looked up at the store. Funny how I didn't remember applying there at all. Oh well, I thought, just do it.
I opened the door. The smell was overwhelming and I had trouble not to gag. I stared at all the dead fish on ice. Weird, I said to myself...I just don't remember ever coming here.
The man with a bloody apron looked at me in my fancy outfit. "May I help you young lady?"
I looked at him straight in the eyes and said with confidence "Yes sir, I would like to talk to Mr. Sturgeon. I have an appointment with him".
I remember him tilting his head to the side and gawking at me. I thought there was something slightly wrong with him. "I am here for an interview" I said a bit louder.
I looked at his quizzical expression again and then at the fish case. "Ah non, non, non !@#$%^" I screamed. Anger filled every pore on my body. It was the first of April. My sweet parents played a Poisson D'Avril on me. How would I know that a sturgeon was a fish!
April Fool is Poisson D'avril in French. Poisson means fish. When I was a kid, I spent hours drawing and cutting out fish shapes. The idea is to stick a fish on an unsuspected person. I never knew why we did this really...we just did. I think King Charles XIV of France got bored in 1564. Mr. King decided that the year should start on January 1st instead of the end of March. Since Charles didn't have a cell phone, the news were slow to travel to the rural areas of France. It created a big brouhaha. Some refused to accept the change and celebrated the New Year at the end of March. So, pranksters would stick a paper fish on the people's back who celebrated the New Year at the wrong time. I still don't get it.
What I do get is that it turns my family into devious maniacs. It's who can outdo who with playing a joke on April 1st.....hummm that reminds me...today is March 30th.
Thanks King Charles XIV.
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