Been feeling a bit blue,
and not so much the ha ha ha girl. I didn't feel like writing because I didn't
want to be Debbie Downer. Then, I realized that this is real life going on, and
it's not always pretty in pink or funny.
Our life has been turned
upside down. We are tired. We know that we will be ok, but right now we feel
like zombies going through the motions. I kept telling folks that there's
people out there who had it worse....That I should shake off my negative
feelings and move on. Friends told me to honor my feelings. That all of us are
damaged no matter how little or big our situation. Relief. It's ok to feel bad
and cry sometimes. Let it out.
So yesterday was a
"release" day. I got up very early and mowed the grass with an
attitude & clipped bushes. I wanted order in the house. I wanted to be in
control. The flood took our control away.
I reclaimed a small
space where my Bhudda sits comfortably looking out the water. Bhudda never
moved an inch during the flood, and looked like he was saying "what's all
the craziness?". I felt like a sweat bucket, and it felt good. I tore at
pesky weeds. I planted bright perky flowers in non-matching colors. Freedom.
Today, I went a step further. With my birthday money, I bought buddha prayer
flags, an hemotite, and special offerings for my Bhudda buddy. There's a catch.
I want to put Bhudda to work. I expect my friend to protect us against any more
bad juju. I think he's going to do a fine job.
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